Be it a love marriage or an arranged one, the 7 pheras or the marriage vows are the same. We meet someone, like him/her, and finally decide to get married. We think/assume/expect the person is the best match for us and we would live happily ever after. :)
As we grow up, we see many definitions of marriage, some marriages having the male counterpart more dominant, some having the female counterpart equally dominant which leads to numerous clashes, some having a very dominant female partner. In many relationships we see both the partners taking equal responsibility in everything and managing everything so well. I have heard many people saying marriages are made in heaven, or marriages mean compromise, or many other similar things. I have read many articles on the internet on tips for happy marriage; have spoken to many friends and acquaintances about their ideas of happy marriage. I value many couples for the kind of relationship they share between themselves and empathize many who are in a marriage because they have to be, due to various factors in the society. In my opinion, it is very difficult to judge whether a marriage is happy or not, even for couples who celebrate their 70th anniversary together. I now understand the fact that happy and successful marriages are difficult to find in the society because my definition of successful marriage is not the number of anniversaries you spend together but the number of times you have laughed together.
American author Fawn Weaver had said "Happily ever after is not a fairy tale. It’s a choice" and I somehow totally agree to this one thing. I feel if I have decided to get married, I also have the responsibility to make it successful. Successful marriage is one that dwells in the hearts of two happy partners. In my honest opinion the two most important things for a happy marriage are respect and acceptance. No human being is perfect and hence none of us come with zero drawbacks. So it is important to respect each other’s like/dislikes, qualities/drawbacks and accept each other without any ifs and buts. Half the battle is won because you are now a team which is constantly working for a better life together, which in turn proves to be the guiding factor for your relationship. All of us are the kings/queens of our lives before we are married. We do whatever we want and live life in our own conditions. But as we walk the path of marriage we become two very different people coming from two different backgrounds, having two very different upbringings, trying to set up a four walled cemented structure and call it our home. We have various visions, very different tastes, different beliefs and definition of a happy life. But our mission is same and that is to live happily ever after. Hence we should not forget that at any point of time in life and have to equip our minds to understand that there are good days and there are bad days too and bad days need not necessarily hit both the partners at the same time. So if there is a problem today, then it is a passing phase and good days are on their way. So even though we are worn out and tired today, the trust in each other should never fade away. Our belief in the supreme power should not be shaken. Our marriage should be our primary focus and the most important asset that needs to be saved. Positive thinking and having friends and acquaintances who think alike would make our journey smoother. I feel if there is something that you can build with your partner on a daily basis then that is friendship and try to make it stronger with each passing day. Finding a friend in your partner can never go wrong for any relationship, its in fact a blessing. Finally all said and done, it is the love that holds you together, so love love and love. Love like a child who smiles when you throw him up in the air because he loves and trusts you so much that he knows you will catch him if he falls. Love with your arms stretched and shout I LOVE YOU and mean every word and every feeling of it. Cause loving each other truly is the basis that makes you dream and decide to Live Happily Ever After.....
To cut the crap here's the list of spices to a cook a great marriage and trust me it is in our hands :)
1. Respect for each other
2. Acceptance without any conditions
3. Team work
4. To know that bad days are passing phases and it will go
5. Believe in each other, in yourself and in the supreme power
6. Think positive
7. Be friends
8. Break free and Love each other and Laugh often.
And if you want to make it a little chatpata then add the spice of being silly, add humor and be adventurous to make the monotonous things a little more pepped up :)
And you will really really live happily ever after :)