Working Mammas, Smile, you are doing it right :)

I know it was a tough one to decide to go on…

I know it was not a bed of roses to help everyone move on…

It was a pain to uncomfortably open the red eyes

Early in the morning when sleeping felt so nice…

Every late night lullabies, each and every sleepy night..

Every evening walk and the early morning cries…

Every second of guilt before leaving home for work…

Every inch of pain to bid goodbye to your  sweetheart…

Feeling helpless with the tasks given at work,

Feeling restless to go back home and take the little one to park.

To concentrate on anything seemed impossible…

Leaving all this struggle was the only thing looking plausible!!!!

But I think there was this small love for self

That dwells somewhere within myself

Which made me get up every day with a smile

And made my way towards a journey  that’s only mine..

Making me happy for being able to have the strength

To be the pillar that stands straight

And keep walking the way that defines me

In the path that I always wanted to walk.

I know I can do it all with all  the enthusiasm I contain

I know my partner will know this all and give me his shoulder to lean on

I know my little angel will be made to feel the most special gift ever

Yet will know the mother has her identity for which she will be remembered forever…

No, it’s not required to be at the top

No, it’s not required to be the best..

But it’s only the fact that you are doing it for yourself

To be able to gift yourself the dream that you once had…

Yes, I know somewhere from within us,

Says the tiny little girl “Thank god my identity is not lost”…  with a smiling heart J

                                                                          - Sohini Mukherjee 

Divine, we know it is!!!!

As we grow up and slowly become busy in our lives, few things still remain close to our heart which can never fade away. Celebrating Durga Pujo is one such feeling which was always special and will remain so, forever. It is still so fresh in my mind, when during my childhood days, Ma used to wake me and my brother up in the dawn of Mahalaya to listen to Birendra Krishna Bhadra, reciting Mahisasuramardini, broadcasted at All India Radio Calcutta. Oh, it’s still gives me goosebumps to remember those chilled days in Shillong, when we used to sit under the quilt, rubbing our eyes, to hear his strong and excited voice reciting "Ya devi sarvabhuteshu vishnu- rupena samsthita, Namas tasyai, namas tasyai, namas tasyai namo namah"

We slowly made ourselves ready for Ma to come and bless us. As kids, our greatest love for this festival was mainly because of the number of new clothes we would get from parents and relatives. Cousins would discuss the number of clothes received and whoever got the maximum would treat the rest with Jalebi on Ashtami. May be the feeling cannot be expressed in mere words but I can still feel the same excitement as I write this.

The feeling was just so serene and pure to see Ma Durga's Pratima every year. The sound of the Dhaak and dancing with the Dhaakis, that excitement of wearing a new dress every day, going out to visit all the Pujos in the city, those long queues for Pushpanjali, those queues for getting seat in the first batch for eating khichuri and labra served at the Pujo Mandap, Dhunuchi Naach, meeting so many friends, and all the chaos of the Pujo Mandap; nothing has ever been more exciting and over whelming. Seeing all married ladies playing with Sindoor, the holy red powder depicting marriage, dancing in the "Bhashan" singing "Ashche bochor abar hobe" meaning "It will happen again next year" and " Ma go jeo na, Ma ke jete dio na" meaning " Oh Ma don't go, don't allow Ma to go", are still has so fresh in my mind. 

Touching the feet of elders on the day of Vijaya Dashami and eating loads of sweets followed by writing letters to all relatives, staying away in other cities, to convey "Vijayar Pronam" makes me smile even today when I think of it. 

We still try to remain as before and stay connected to Ma Durga, friends and family by whatever little or more we can do from our ends. We try to buy new clothes for ourselves, try to be happy and enjoy Durga Puja. In this era of mobile phones, Vijoyar Pronam is either conveyed by calls or messages, and letters seem to be long lost medium. 

I just hope that our next generation also have such special things to remember from their childhood days and cherish the 4 days of Durga Pujo and the Pujor Gondho (The aroma of Durga Pujo) remains close to their hearts; as it is for us.

Jai Ma Durga.

“Arshiya”

On that lovely Sunday when I knew I am gonna be a MOM
We were all excited to welcome you to our Lovely Home
The feeling of you being within me, the feeling of having you
Made us so cheerful and happy than anything else would ever do

And all the plans started for the welcome of the Special “YOU”
As you were the whole world for us is all that we knew
We smiled at you when we met you at all the scans
When you posed with your tiny sweet legs and hands

At first you moved a little and then you kicked hard
As you grew within me, we could only wait and watch
With each passing day we were more excited to see you
And hold u tight in our arms and say “We love you!!!

Oh what a lovely day it was when the gift we got
Our pink little angel wrapped in a white silk cloth
Smiles all around; what a feeling; Oh my my!
Love was in the air for our lovely sweetie pie….

With your tiny little hands when you reach out to me
With your shinning eyes when you look at me
The glow in your face and that special smile when you see me
Makes me feel so special and proud of being just me

No words can ever tell what you mean to us
All you should know is that “You Are Our World”
To hold you, to help you, to love you, we’ll be there forever
Coz you are that special gift from god; the best gift ever.

Womanhood

                           
Woman!!! The power!!! The world!!! The beginner!!!
She sprinkled the flavor of life in me
She protected the self in me
She cuddled me, she pampered me,
She smiled at me, she hugged me,
Everything I know, she taught me,
She respected me, she encouraged me,
She fought for me, she fought with me,
The meaning of my existence she showed me,
The woman of substance that she is;
She tried to make the same of me.
Mother!!! You nurtured and made the mother in me.
One day to realize that she is in me
The life that fluttered one day within me,
The sparkling eyes that looked at me,
The innocent smile that tickled me;
I want to give her all that you gave me
I understand the happiness in you…
As the same feeling is now there in me!
Your success in making me…
Will be rewarded when I smell the aroma of success in me
Woman, you made the woman in me
And a woman I make, from the woman in me
I salute as I understand
The power of being a woman
The respect in being a woman
The pride of being a woman
The happiness in being a woman
My salute to womanhood
As I bow my head in front of the epitome of womanhood
Ma, the goddess Durga, the fighter for the good….
                                                             -Sohini Mukherjee

The lil Happiness's of Life!!!! :)

The times when weekends meant, dancing till you are dead,
The times when night outs meant, gossips with your best friend,
The times when Sunday breakfast was never in the list,
The times when shopping meant loads of dresses picked.

Happy and content I was with my life's style,
With so much more to be done with every passing tide.
New plans, new hopes, new dreams to be unfolded everyday,
To make life more fun in every possible way.

As I ponder a while, to note the priorities of today,
I see a changed me and donno what to say!!!

Weekends are booked for household chores,
Messy night outs with diapers, lullabies and more.
Perfect Sundays with breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks,
Shopping equals direct entry to kids section & heavy sacks.

With my life so different and such a different me,
I sit back and think, what better it could be?
Holding tight my pumpkin pie, who means the world to me,
I thank Sai for bestowing such a precious gift to me.

                                                                -Sohini

Embrace the Struggle of Learning

My daughter would turn 2 this November and trust me, this entire time frame; from when she was born till now, she has never failed to amaze me with the little things that she does everyday.

I always think that I learn a new thing from her everyday and celebrate her growing up every moment. But the one thing that has deeply influenced me is how hard she tries to embrace the struggle of learning a new thing. While I say this, I can feel the excitement in me when I first saw her struggling to roll on her tummy or get up to sit or trying to stand up or starting to work. Every time if she had given up in the first attempt, she could have never sat on her own or walked.

I guess as I grew older I had developed my own set of  ideas and mindset of what I can do and what I cannot. What am I good at and what I am not. It is this mindset, which I thought was accurate, stopped me from trying out things which look difficult at the beginning. Did I ever try to achieve what seemed impossible to me?
If I learn to embrace the struggle of learning, I wonder what that could mean for my potential. In fact if every soul learns this, can we imagine what it would mean for everyone's potential and the society's potential as a whole?

I remember me and my husband trying out our hands to play with guitar once before my marriage and also remember how I convinced my husband, who thought dancing was equal to head banging with rock music, to come with me for Salsa classes. Initial classes were fun but as we proceeded to more difficult levels, we thought it was difficult and we left it there. In fact it was not about the steps in Salsa or the chords of guitar that were difficult, it was surely our mindset that made us believe that we have loads to do in life and many responsibilities that there is not much time for learning these.

Thankfully, we are out of this and are willing to learn new things that we thought were important for us as kids. Its a step forward to embrace the struggle of learning that we have decided to take together, again to go back to being kids at heart and enjoy that really makes us happy.
To start with my husband has decided to try different strokes with his pencil and enjoy the beauty of colors and I am to go back to my days with Music, dance and reading.

Tons of thanks to our princess who has taught her parents a very essential lesson in life in her process of growing up. :)

Disheartened and shattered to be a part of such a society of culprits.

Yet another case and will be forgotten once the hype is over by the media. A 6 year old raped in school!!! Well I don’t really have words to express my feelings about this episode. With passing time we are only witnessing how cruel and sick people’s mentalities are becoming. All these while we were worried of our daughters when they grew up but now children are not left out either, with fear cropping in all our minds of how safe our children are; even in school premises, leave about their safety elsewhere. We only switch news channels to hear what will happen next. Yes the criminal will be put behind the bars, may be bailed out after some days or may not be, the system might be generous enough to announce a lifetime sentence or for once they may agree to hang them till death. Oh yes and how can I not hope some human rights people may then come up to comment that hanging till death is in human, we never know.  My point here is: “whatever it might be; but is that enough????”

Why there is no fear in the culprit’s minds before doing such horrendous act? Is it that such crimes are increasing with time or is it just that things get more coverage and exposure these days?  

I am disturbed with this incident so much so that I can’t stop thinking about the pain the little angel must be going through. It just shakes me from within. Even if she has the most supporting parents and friends who help her to overcome this but will the little child ever be able to forget the trauma that she has been through? Will it not shake her entire personality, behavior and confidence? The thought of it is so disheartening that I don’t even dare to imagine what her parents must be going through.

It feels so helpless for not being able to do anything or think of anything so that such incidents stop. I know I can’t change people’s mentality and save everyone. Yes the damage is done and nothing can mend it.  But can we do something about punishing the accused at least? At least some law to heal the hammered souls of so many such rape victims? Something like a separate jail for the rape accused, where in they are curled and put inside a cube after cutting their private parts and left there to feel the pain forever until their last breath? Will it make the potential future bastards think 100 times before even looking at any girl with that mentality?

Can we as a society take some responsibility now towards mandating women safety? Instead of being scared and thinking of ways to go abroad and settling, instead of finding ways to ensure our daughters go to the nearest school so that we don’t have to send them in a school bus and can pick and drop them ourselves, instead of making up our minds to not send our daughters out alone; can all the schools make it mandatory for girls to attend and master self-defense courses like Karate or anything similar? Can the central boards make it a mandatory subject for girls for standard 10^th? Can we ensure women can take care of themselves to face this cruelty whenever needed with how much ever power and energy they have? If it is a gang then a woman must be confident enough to hit one among them so hard between the legs that they can never get up again. This confidence might make the cowards sense their “Aukat” and they might go to hide their faces? Why only in schools, I think an initiative should be taken to support a drive to teach self-defense for every woman in every part of India. I know that small 6 year old child wouldn’t have been able to save herself from the two wolves even if she had started a course on self-defense, but in many cases this would definitely help!!!

Friends, can we something about changing this irresponsible behavior and induce some fear in the minds of such bastards? I feel disgusted to again go back to my world to just sit and watch what happens next , who is next, when it happens next and be afraid of such incident.

Can someone hear me shout in disgust and pain that this has reached the threshold and we need to do something about it to stop it here!!!!  I am trying to figure out what I can do about this.